


"I Feel Like I Can't Breath"

by we-killed-parker (wekilledparker)



Series: Prompt Fills from Tumblr [6]
Category: Sugar Pine 7 RPF
Genre: Gen, anxiety attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2018-03-30
Packaged: 2019-04-14 19:46:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14143239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wekilledparker/pseuds/we-killed-parker
Summary: (prompt fill from Tumblr)In which Steve receives too many messages from people saying they need to talk to him, leading to him having an anxiety attack.





	"I Feel Like I Can't Breath"

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this mid-late January, so season three had just started and I think the "Cow Chop Surprise" was the last video to have come out, so it's kinda based around that time.

_“Hey man, been trying to get a hold of you all morning, I’ve got something pretty serious I need to talk to you about but I don’t want to just leave it in a message or in a text. I’ve got a meeting I need to go to today so I won’t be making it to the office, give me a call tonight or I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Have a good one.”_

Steven replayed the message for a third time, James’ voice sounding weird and distorted by the speaker phone. His eyes flicked across his computer monitor, three unread emails sitting in his inbox, one from Farid, one from Geoff, and the last from the other potential buyer, all with some form of “we need to talk” in the subject line, his worst nightmare. God, like how hard is it to just say what you want to say instead of leaving someone panicking that they’ve done something wrong? He hated that phrase, it always made him want to completely avoid the topic and made his brain run at a thousand miles an hour, jumping to conclusions.

Which is why he was sitting alone in the office, a voicemail and three unread emails staring at him while his hands shook and his heart rate started to sky rocket.

He got up and paced back and forth across the office, wringing his hands and habitually adjusting his hat before plopping back into his seat. _Just open one of the emails dammit, find out what this is about. Maybe it’s not even as bad as you think it is. It’s definitely not Farid confirming that Geoff bought us and Geoff definitely isn’t immediately shutting us down and those other guys aren’t threatening to sue us for Cib misleading them by selling us to them and then being denied cause we’ve already been purchased, and James isn’t going to tell me he’s quitting, absolutely not._

All he could think about were the potentially bad scenarios, nothing positive from any of these four messages were coming to mind, but damn if he could convince himself to do anything about it right now.

The robotic voice of his messaging system asked him if he wanted to replay the message or delete it. Even a question from a robot felt like too much and he hit the hang up button with more force than necessary and shoved the phone away, sending it skittering across the conjoined tables that served as the communal desk. It came to rest in Autumn’s area but at this moment Steven couldn’t care less if he ever saw it again.

He sat back in his chair, resting his shaking hands on his thighs. _What if this is the end, what are we going to do, what should I tell Cib, what if Cib gets deported, when should I talk to him and James, what the hell is James wanting to talk to me about, what if I just never open these emails and Geoff and Farid just come see me in person, would that be better or worse?_

He flinched as the door flew open and Cib waltzed in.

“ ‘Suh, dude.” Cib cocked his hip and finger gunned in Stevens direction. “Guess who has had like _the_ best morning ever? This guy!”

 _Oh god, and now I’m about to fuck up his day in some way._ Steven planted his elbows on the table, covering his face with his hands and rubbing his eye lids with his finger tips. He could hear Cib yammering on about his morning as he flopped onto the couch by the door, but he couldn’t process what Cib was actually saying, his brain was moving too fast, his heart was pounding and it felt like his lungs couldn’t get enough air. _Oh god, it really feels like I can’t get air._

“I feel like I can’t breathe.” He managed to strangle out.

Cib stuffed down the corner of the pillow he was holding to his chest so he could see Steven. “What did you say, bro?”

Steven could feel his face flushing and he started to feel light headed. “I… Can’t breathe.”

He didn’t even see Cib stand up, one moment he was on the couch, the next he was on his knees next to Stevens chair. “Hey, it’s ok, I’m right here. Is it alright if I put my hand on your shoulder?”

The instant shift from bro voice to Cib sounding like a normal person for once threw Steven for such a loop that he forgot about even trying to breathe for a moment.

“Hey, breathe with me, Steven, in. And out.”

Steven nodded, grasping onto the front of Cibs shirt in response to his question. Cib put his hand on his shoulder, gently rubbing his fingers in circles. The motion and firmness were grounding, Steven hadn’t even realized how tense his whole body was.

“It’s ok Steven, breathe with me.”

 _Right, breathing. That’s a thing I need to do_. He could feel himself getting dizzy and his stomach felt like it was doing flips. He left his fingers tangled in Cibs shirt and rested his head against Cibs shoulder, closing his eyes and focusing on the other man’s breathing. He tried imitating him as much as he could, inhaling through his nose, holding it for a beat and then blowing out through his mouth. At first it felt impossible, like he would never be able to breathe normally ever again if he even managed to not die of asphyxiation right there in the middle of his office.

It felt like an eternity later, but he finally made sense of what Cib was saying. He belatedly realized Cib had been calmly and soothingly talking for a while now, so focused on breathing he’d been that he hadn’t heard a word until now.

“See? You’re ok, you’ve got this.”

Now that he had the breathing back under control he started to focus on how tense he was. He took one more deep breath and relaxed his shoulders as he exhaled. He felt like a puppet who had his strings cut, immediately leaning bonelessly against Cib, who caught him without hesitation.

He stayed there for a while, reveling in the warmth and feeling of Cibs arms around him. He felt mostly calm again but so exhausted. He lifted his head and looked at the clock on the wall. At least twenty minutes had passed since Cib had walked in. And _oh my god, Cibs been kneeling on a hardwood floor this entire time, his knees must be killing him right now._

He pushed himself upright again, rubbing at his face. “I’m sorry about that. That.. wasn’t great.”

Cib never moved from where he kneeled, his face kind and unjudging. “It’s fine man, whatever you need. Do you want to go for a walk, want me to drive you home, need some water or coffee?”

Steven rubbed his eyes again and looked around. At some point Cib must’ve turned off his computer monitor, the screen black and showing his reflection back at him. His eyes were as puffy and red as they felt.

“Yeah, I kinda… just want to pet my dogs right now.”

“Done, I’ll drive you home, we can get some food or drinks on the way back and you just take the day off.” Cib popped to his feet and grabbed his keys from the couch, spinning them around his finger.

Steven stared at the black monitor in front of him again, debating whether or not he should try reading those emails before leaving. His hands shook just thinking about it.

“Hey!”

He jumped and looked at Cib, who stood holding the door open, giving him a _really?_ sort of look.

“Whatever that is on there can wait til tomorrow. You’re going home.”

Steven nodded and retrieved his phone from Autumn’s desk before following Cib to his car. He still didn’t know what to expect from those messages, but he was glad he had a friend like Cib right now. 


End file.
